Gaslighting Myself Into Greatness

Some days I feel like that girl—focused, ambitious, and absolutely certain I’m on the path I’m meant to be on. Other days? I feel like I’m holding everything together with a glass of wine, an overbooked Google Calendar, and pure delusion.

Welcome to the life of a 9-5 girl who’s planning a wedding, building a brand, trying to level up in every direction—personally and professionally—while still figuring out how to not lose herself in the chaos.

Let me be real: this season is a lot. I’m doing things now that people twice my age are just starting to figure out, and instead of letting that be a flex, I shrink. I downplay my wins. I minimize my power. Because somewhere along the way, I convinced myself that I should feel guilty for being young and ahead.

But here’s the truth: just because something looks easy on the outside doesn’t mean it isn’t heavy to carry.

There’s so much I want to do—so many passions I’m chasing at once—but it feels like I’m always playing emotional tug-of-war. I want to be soft and present, but I also want to hustle and win. I want to not care what people think, but I also crave someone who genuinely sees me. I want to do it all, but I’m tired in ways I can’t even begin to describe.

Tired, but still showing up. Misunderstood, but still expressing myself. Stretched thin, but still dreaming big.

I’m learning that sometimes, the pressure doesn’t mean I’m doing too much—it means I’m growing. It means I care. It means I’m building something worth the weight.

So yes, maybe I am gaslighting myself into thinking I can do it all—but what if that’s just belief in disguise?

Here’s to chasing purpose even when we’re tired.
Here’s to being “that girl” and still needing help.
Here’s to figuring it out, one overwhelming to-do list at a time.

Because maybe we’re not behind. Maybe we’re just in the middle of becoming.